November 2005 - Posts

Camping the Nazgul Spawn

I have been looking forward to Turbine's Middle Earth Online virtual-world-or-online-game (I hope for the former, suspect the latter) since a loooong time before they decided to try and make it.  And the world that they are displaying in screenshots does look tempting.

But the latest post by Timothy Burke at Terra Nova does point out the dangers that the common tropes of MMO design pose to the enjoyability and immersiveness of such a world.  As he mentions, the activities described by Tolkien tend to be straight into the level 60 raid territory: kill the dragon; get through Moria; destroy the one ring; escape nazgul (only after levelling up in the previous quest: elude farmer Barleycorn.  Quelle short treadmill).

I actually don't mind that much.  I'm a Bartle-Explorer, so I'm far more interested in exploring the Misty Mountains than six-manning the Goblin King instance.  What really worries me are the players.

There will be RP servers, I am sure, but that won't help.  Half the people will just take that to mean representing as a human woman of dubious morals and speaking in Everquestese (a mainly US bastardisation of Shakespearean English): a lot of thee and thou, and generally used in the wrong cases.  But how Tolkeinesque would Tolkein have been describing his world when shrunk to a six-mile-by-six-mile play area and packed full of three or four thousand levelling players?

Gandalf turned to the halflings.  "I must leave you now for a while, for tasks call me from the Mirkwood that will not wait upon the affairs of hobbits, and if I fail then even the Shire will not..."  He paused to buff Araporn the ranger as he ran past.

"Tx," said Araporn.

"Np," replied Gandalf.

"Where was I?  Ah yes... even the Shire will not be safe for very much longer should I fail."  He realised he had said this in global chat, to everyone in Breeland.

"Ack, sorry, mt..."  The halflings had, in any case, read the rest of their mission quest.  They were now running relentlessly in the direction of Weathertop, drinking Kingsweed potions and buffing each other as they went.

In group chat, Alfrodo said "I prithee hurry up, guys, for there are many miles to Weathertop and verily it is getting dark."

"Yeah and the nazgul spawn doth be camped to hell and back after 5 when the kiddies log in,"  SamGanges replied.

They silently ran the rest of the way to Weathertop, avoiding red-conning Frenzied Worg spawns on the ranger's radar and spotting four other groups sprinting on the way to other quests or farming Orc Captains for mithril drops.  Hairyfoot was distracted by a flamewar on general chat about whether it was for strictly in-character messages, and ran straight into a Breeland Bandit's aggro range, almost causing a wipe.

"Thou art a noob," Alfrodo told him as he ran back from Bree to rejoin the party.

I know, it's a cheap one, but I am suddenly worried that I'll be constantly hopping from new server to new server in order to find quietness sufficient for my immersion.  Though I'll do that anyway, for i am an altaholic.

Civilisation Anonymous

CivAnon - The End of Civilisation Begins Here

11 steps to freedom from our Civilisation addictions, including:

"We make a list of all persons we have harmed (not including in-game societies such as the Greeks, Romans or Mongol Hordes) and make amends."

And powerful testimonials such as:

"I've been attending CivAnon meetings for approximately 18 months now. Partly because I began to get a perverse thrill out of wiping out entire civilizations with atomic intercontinental ballistic weaponry, and partly because they serve cake at the meetings. I like to kill, that's true. But I like cake even more."

And much kudos for managing to get the cameo appearance from Sid himself at the end of this movie.

Sony rootkit - they've got a bit of previous, guv

About ten days ago, Boing Boing posted a timeline of the Sony rootkit fiasco .  In summary, Sony decided that the best way of protecting their intellectual property rights was to surreptitiously install spyware/malware on the consumer's PC: it installs itself, hides itself, can keep tabs on practically everything you do with your pc, can report the contents of your pc back to Sony's dark towers without your consent, and (in extreme cases) can infect your family with bird flu.  Probably.

Make no mistake: Sony's work was heap bad ju-ju, and very many people got excited enough to have Sony begin the process of backing off (presumably back to the breeding pits to create yet more orcs for their next assault on the last strongholds of the open-source community).  Removal software was released by Sony, which didn't work in the "removing" sense, but seems to have worked rather well in the "installing more malware" sense.

And in case Dancin' G*ry is feeling smug, it infects Macs as well, which is possibly the only good PR Sony will get from the episode.

Anyway, my point is that we should not have such short memories.  Sony has done this before, albeit with more primitive black-hat tools: I remember that when Neverwinter Nights was released, Sony tinkered with their SecuROM software-protection tool so that it scanned the user's registry, rifling through the software that they had installed and flagging up perfectly legal stuff like Nero as reason enough not to run.  Oh, and it could occasionally physically damage the play disk and mess up your opsys - little stuff like that.

All Sony does is annoy legitimate customers.  When I was young, I spoke as a child, I acted as a child, and I sometimes did some naughty things involving a BBC micro, a modem, and some supposedly secure servers.  Even today, I can defeat the copy protection on any DVD I like, and rip it to my PSP for enjoyment on-the-go.  A couple of days after the launch of a title like Football Manager I can find a hacked version that removes the need for me to lug the disk around with me when I want to play on my laptop.  Most people can't.  And they don't really want to, either.  Sony has spent plenty in software costs and a fortune in goodwill burnage to protect its IP only from people who don't really want to contravene in the first place, while doing nothing but provoke those of us who occasionally might.

Shoot the Kulaks

An Interview With the Vampire

I had really meant to give it a rest for a daay on the whole Star Wars Galaxies thing.  But I can't.

I found this Q&A session with Julio Torres this evening, after a pleasant couple of hours spent in WoW.  The successrful retrieval of treasure from the holds of a couple of sunken galleons had left me in a charitable mood, and I could only think better of Mr Torres for fielding the questions of some Gamespy readers.

But, in the word of Napoleon Dynamite: "Gosh!"

Is there not a job that the man could do that would make him prouder when he went home at night?  Something involving unlicensed surgery, or perhaps ticketing parked hearses?  I admit that I'm never a big fan of marketing weasels, but the art of selling has its place in the world.  The art of spin, however...  I found his attempt to duck the question of refunds for long subscriptions, and his successful obfuscation regarding refunds for expansion buyers, a little mawkish.  In the old English sense of mawkish: "maggoty".

---

Martial Law Imposed

In other news, I was rubbernecking the car crash that is the official forum, when I spotted this one, from "Blackguard", an SOE community team member.

"Just a warning that we are not currently handing out suspensions. All bans at this time are going to be permanent"

An explanation of the many, many ways to get banned included the following items.  Each is fair enough in its way (if a little naive in the world of internet game forums), but are also informative as regards the general tone of the forums right now.

"These Forums are provided to enable members to help each other in sharing their passion for the game. Please refrain from discussing personal matters, abusing any company or product, or, in general, from posting in a manner unrelated to the direct purposes expected in the Forums"

"Flaming people, products, or organizations is never acceptable"

"You may not... Use the official forums as a staging-ground for creating general unrest within the game "

It seems to have struck SOE that since (as Politburo Candidate-Member Torres said) disgruntled gamers with unwanted ten month subscriptions will not receive refunds, and since they have free access to the boards for that entire period, it will be easier to take them straight to the Lubyanka basement right now.  And since there are no refunds for banned accounts, either, they will effectively charge the recipient for the bullet.

Is it not enough that the proletariat achieved the liquidation of the Creature Handlers as a class?

Fear and Loathing in Mos Eisley

[24/11/05 - Edit: by way of a caveat, Brenlo and Pex on the boards have denied this explicitly.  Brenlo I trust as far as I could cough him, but Pex is a different story].

The possibility of an imminent console version of Star Wars: Galaxies seems to be firming up.

The Sony/Star Wars community forums have been, for weeks now, been the online equivalent of several hundred hungry wolverines in a 20-foot square cage.  That seems set to get even worse with the growing possibility of an announcement of a console version of SWG at some point.

This, in itself, is not a bad thing.  As Richard Bartle pointed out a while back, the MMO space is probably not ready for voice communications in a virtual world, but the shift from world to game has occurred already, so the loss of any remaining immersion is probably not really a biggie to SOE.

The evidence?  You can now pre-order the guide to the console version, on Amazon and on eCampus.  My only doubts about this surround the fact that the guide is due to be published on December 27th this year.  Surely too soon (although Amazon game-related release dates are notoriously innacurate).  But there have been reports that G4's XBox launch party last night had no less than four celebrities emerge from a preview party and, coked beyond caring for any NDAs they may have signed, stated tha the game they looked forward to most was "Star Wars Galaxies". [Edit: these reports were a bit of a red herring. I found a download and only one celebrity talked about looking forward to playing SWG]

This is not enough of a case for prosecution, even given SOE's notorious, greyscale flexibility with the truth.  Celebrities shown a game on a PC may well not spot that it wasn't running on a 360.  Books get mistitled on Amazon.  But if not, then further fear and loathing will undoubtedly result.

The point is that SOE employees, up to and including the producer, Brenlo, have been explicitly denying that a console game was in the offing throughout the NGE revamp.  Take a look at the post by Wolfmann31 on this page for a list of strong denials.

Timothy Burke suggests, in his latest post on Terra Nova, that making SWG into a Planetside-esque FPS, done properly, would not necessarily be a bad idea.  Similarly, a console implementation of such a game would be logical and useful, as well as providing a game for the new platform unlike anything else currently available in the announced lineups.  But SOE have given not one scintilla of an iota of a suggestion that they are capable of meeting the massively higher QA requirements for the console marketplace.  The first time some Stormtrooper shoots or runs through a wall to get at a console-magazine reviewer, the jig is up...  And that happened to me within seconds of starting the trial version (more of which later).

Stupid Dead Kid

I'll try and be sensitive about this one.

Blizzard is being sued by the parents of a stupid dead kid from Tianjin, China who jumped from a window, "while reenacting a scene" from World of Warcraft.

While it is good to see that the Chinese are catching up fast in the spheres of tendentious lawsuitery and profiting from deceased relatives, this story was foretold in prophecy by the Onion, years ago:

...'The third and arguably stupidest death occurred August 12, when 11-year-old dumbass Michael Torres held the RoboFighter above his head and jumped off the balcony of his family's third-story Torrance, CA, apartment, thinking he would be able to fly like Superman.

'A couple of my fellow emergency workers thought we should cut the kid some slack, because at least he wasn't trying to eat the toy or shove it up his nose," said paramedic Debra Lindfors, who tried in vain to revive Torres. "I considered this for a while, but then I decided no. No way. If you're 11 years old, you should know that it's impossible to fly. And poor Wizco's probably going to go bankrupt because of this ***."'...

This would never have happened under the glorious revolution of the proletariat and peasant toilers, under the enlightened rule of the Great Leader.

The Fall of the Roman Empire

I recently finished reading Peter Heather's newest book "The Fall of the Roman Empire".  As an author, he usually writes about those on the north-eastern side of the Roman limes: the Goths and Huns, and the OUP describes him, racily, as the leading authority on the barbarians.  Which, surely, has rarely have been a handier subject than today.

The cover notes say that Heather offers a new and radical interpretation of the collapse of the Western Roman Empire: that it was not the failings but the success of the Roman Empire that led to its downfall.  Here, the name of the book is important, and I am sure that the contrast with Gibbons' "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" is completely intentional.  Heather, basically, strips away any process of decline.  Essentially, he says that the Roman Empire was strong - and in many ways getting stronger - right up until the first impact upon the Danubian provinces of the Hunnic migrations in the 360's.

He's certainly a big barbarophile: he never really says it out loud, but one does get the feeling that he is arguing less in defence of the late western Empire against charges of decadence, and more in favour of the barbarians.  A sort of "the better team won" thing, and obviously, it's better if your team beats Manchester United than Accrington Stanley.

It is traditional for treatments of this period to dive into the "how small were the invading tribes that destroyed Rome?" reverse auction.  Heather's figures are definitely towards the lower end of the bidding - low five figures, in the main - but his analysis of tribal confederations (caused, he says, by a mixture of Hunnic and Roman activities amongst the Germanic peoples), and the localised impact of these concentrated forces when facing static, 3rd rate Roman border defence forces - is convincing.

The real oddity of the book for me is the ending.  After 450-odd pages of narrative, analysis and evidence-gathering the conclusion - that the Romans provided just the right mixture of example, grooming and provocation to harden and consolidate the Germanic tribes into a weapon capable of their destruction - is only really presented in just one paragraph (the very last).  I'm not sure how to put this so as not to sound insulting, but this structure can't help but strike one as oddly undergraduate.  It's as if reading all those essays and dissertations has left Heather feeling that he has to tack on a "Janet-and-John" conclusions paragraph.  There is also a strange sensation that he'd reached his essay word-limit, or that the examiner had instructed him to stop writing.

The book is fun, and at times sparklingly funny.  But I wish he'd spoken less about Alaric's "Gothic supergroup".  I have trouble enough not seeing the cliched long hair, unkempt beards and womanising habits of the 5th century tribes as suspiciously Led Zeppelin, without Peter Heather light-heartedly describing them in a way that smacks of the wonderful Stonehenge scene in Spinal Tap, but performed by proto-Goths Bauhaus.

The Electronic Palimpsest

Finding five-year-old writings on the internet is more like 5th century historical research than you would think.

Actually, I'm really rather serious there.  I'll be quick with this one, so bear with me.

The last couple of posts I've made have seen me going back to old message-board postings, tracking down dead blog entries and the like.  Now, when it comes to google, I have m4d l33t skillz like you wouldn't believe.  As Rutger Hauer says in possibly his finest work (the video to Kylie Minogue's On a Night Like This), "That which you find impossible, I find easy."  I can get old cached stuff, and I know about the Wayback engine and similar projects.  But there is a wealth of real, valuable information that is gone forever.

Coincidentally, I just finished reading Peter Heather's Fall of the Roman Empire,and the similarities between the problems of sources for historians of the late Roman Empire and somebody looking for stuff only two or three years old is surprising.  The originals are gone, but digests exist, as well as commentaries which quote more or less directly from the original.  Where you find apparently unrelated sites giving near identical quotes, your confidence that you are looking at the original rises.

Re-quoting can occasionally be traced, especially where idiosyncratic changes are made, or a particularly creative interpretation is either cited or copied.  Caution is essential, and the context of the commentary that surrounds the quote tells one a lot about how reliably representative of the original this exceprt is likely to be.  Close reading is invaluable as a tool.

So when looking for some of the posts for Khaldun/Burke referred to in "Shell Games - Part 2", below, the originals had gone, as part of a deliberate move on the part of an involved actor: the host and target, SOE).  But other posts survived which quoted and commented upon Burke.  From those, I was able to recover enough to make useful citations.  And, on the upside, it didn't require the idle Porphyrogenitus to set teams of civil servants to the task.

And here's something that a careful archaeological historian can avoid with discovered texts.  Accessing cached google entries often actually destroys them if the site no longer exists.  It's as if reading a book burns each page once you turn to the next. Google goes back, checks this old page that is apparently interesting, finds the original is no more, and flushes the contents.

Of course, there are no real internet palimpsests available.  While actually getting hold of the server's disk array in a lab might theoretically make overwritten texts available, in reality this is not an option.  Once that forum - World of Warcraft -style - is written over with newer posts, then the original is gone.

Shell Games - Part 2

In my last post, I described - at some length - the various shenanigans surrounding the Star Wars Galaxies revamp.  This time, I'm more interested in how the history of SOE:SWG conforms absolutely to the behaviour of a company in crisis, and in what it might mean for other virtual world citizens.

The Pathobiology of Company Failure...

My post-grad uni course was St Andrews University's generalist humanities course in "Management, Economics and Politics".  I well remember one of our lecturers describing what I'd call the pathobiology of companies in crisis.  Let's say that Acme Explosives Co. depends on its Bangalot(TM) product for the bulk of its profits: a problem in itself, but one which they tell themselves and the market is not an issue because of various market conditions: protective patents, recent strong explosives sales in the middle east etc, etc...  At this point they believe their own press.  they are lying to themselves.

Next, sales start to suffer for some reason.  Perhaps tightened safety regimes, a strong new competitor, or product faults.  Sales fall, liabilities increase, customers leak, but the board believe they can cover this until things turn around, so long as their sources of capital don't dry up.  So they move some debt off-balance-sheet, boost sales and turnover by selling at a loss through various promotions, and generally employ smoke and mirrors to lie to investors and customers.

But things get worse.  It becomes impossible to play the shell game with funds and customer numbers.  They're not the XBox division of Microsoft, so infinite subsidisation isn't possible.  So Acme Explosives decide something must be done.  Perhaps they do an Enron, and set up a pyramid borrowing scheme to continue the deceit.  Or maybe they hire new tech staff to come up with new products.  Perhaps they find a *** buyer and hope the paint job of the last year works long enough for golden parachutes to open.

...As Applied to SWG

This is where the SWG division of SOE are now.  They've been through the phase of denial: of singing loudly of success and refusing to acknowledge the litany of problems.  As I mentioned, the game could be fun, but it had areas - expensive areas - that needed improvement, mainly based around content and class balance.

And they've been through the second phase - that of dissimulation and artifice - where they issue press statements about continuing strong sales and simultaneous user figures.  Impressive figures in themselves, but they ignore the influence of the Star Wars brand in providing an unusually strong newbie hose (a Bartle term, I think, but see page 18 here): the brand draws in large numbers of purchasers who seem to churn in a relatively short amount of time, whereas the profit model of MMORPGs depends on strong subscription retention for 'teh win'.  If your churn figures are high you're just filling the pool of potential subscribers with large numbers of "never again" ex-customers.  Vocal ex-customers, since hell hath no fury like a fanboi scorned.  And the Station Pass SOE offers allows them to mask SWG figures behind those of EQ and EQII.

Botched Reform

So SOE have decided to address the problems.  Whether this is because subscriber numbers are actually plummeting, or merely that they have been revealed as incredibly poor in contrast with Blizzard's World of Warcraft (c.4 million subscribers worldwide compared to what I guess are probably about 175,000 (+- 25,000) for SWG: hurry up Sir Bruce) is moot, due to the lack of any honest assessment or discussion of the issues from SOE.  They've announced a coup de main, a timescale of a few weeks then a complete game-structure redesign to be rolled out.

Something was needed: the redesign itself contains elements referred to with a startling degree of presience by erstwhile SWG player Khaldun (aka Timothy Burke) in a series of posts on the SOE forums (more - the "seven deadly sins" series of posts - were lost when SOE (understandably, perhaps) wiped the forum that housed their fiercest critics).  But some posts survive: one on his own site describing where the game went wrong, and another on the official forums here, where he describes the main plank of the eventual revamp: a "partial character wipe" and consolidation of classes from 34 to 11 (I believe SOE have gone from 34 to 9 [Edit: They have, in fact, gone to 11 as well, with a surprising similarity to Burke's list]).

I assume that the management team were prepared for the raging firestorm of responses.  But they act as if they are still a little taken aback.

Half-Hearted Palace Coup

Team members - including primary points of contact with the public - have been fired, after the announcement.  This should have been done before the proclamation: every dictator knows that you purge then reform, not vice-versa.  The night of the long knives comes first.  Panic-mode management has predominated.  The user base went understandably berserk over the delay of the announcement until a few days after the billing date for the expansion pack.  Cue money-back offer.  It was discovered that you needed another expansion pack to even test the new game on the test servers (as a developer myself, I can so see how that happened).  Cue sudden announcement of free upgrade for all users.  Do these before they are needed, included in the announcement, along with sops such as the second character slot, and the community would have been far easier to mollify.  Do it afterwards, in a panic, and the community have a mixed sense of being deceived and toddler-in-a-rage power.  Despite being chastised for my cynicism by Abieleno, I maintain that some of these crises were born of attempts at sharp practise, but others are sheer incompetence.

Possible Consequences for Other Worlds

Practical and dramatic consequences will arise out of the success or failure of SOE's "New Game Experience" gamble.  I'm not talking, here, about the sort of effects on governance and the normative creation in virtual worlds that I am surprised Terra Nova haven't leapt on already.  Rather than any contract between avatar and world-authority, I merely mean the contract between player and code-owner.  If this works, other games will feel it is worth the gamble of losing current subscribers to gain eventual market share by substantially rewriting their games.

This is an issue with virtual worlds in a way it is not with other games.  If Civilisation IV had been <shudders> an RTS instead of turn-based, I would have been horrified.  But I could have gone back to Civ 3, or Call To Power, or Alpha Centauri, and continued playing that.  That is not an option where the game "occurs" in distant, centralised servers.  A huge investment of time (and sometimes of cash) will be written-off when players find themselves no longer Jedi Masters, but essentially newbie characters.  If I have paid through the Sony Exchange marketplace for a new weapon, and Sony change that game the next day in such a way that the weapon is substantially less valuable, do I have any enforceable rights under that game's constitution (the holy End User License Agreement)?

Frankly, I would rather the NGE failed than it succeeded, and thereby opened up the possibility that any online game I have invested my time into could be radically altered by a bunch of chuckleheaded devs who think that because something is neat, it should be done.  Oops, did my neutrality slip there?

Fortunately, it won't work.  I hugely doubt if the game will collapse dramatically, but I think it rather likely that user figures will dip, then briefly spike, then trail away into Planetside-type insignificance.

Shell Games - Part 1

This post is specifically for fans of games-related, car-crash, mass-loathing and psychodrama.  For reasons of length, this first post is background, and the next will be comment [now found here].

As most people with an interest in virtual worlds or massively multiplayer games will know by now, Star Wars Galaxies is undergoing some huge changes.  Again.

For background, I played this game when it was launched, but I cancelled about a year ago, and thus have no particular axe to grind regarding the nature of what are some pretty fundamental alterations to the nature of the game itself.  For the view of the customers, a quick look at the thread titles on the official forums will tell you all you need to know.  Suffice to say that you'd have to pay me quite a bit to be community liaison for SOE right now.  Which isn't impossible, as they just got rid of the last one.  For the viewpoint of the 'Lead Game Play Designer', take a look at his blog, which has something of a besieged feel about it right now (to the extent that I thought twice before linking to it, for fear of helping unleash a pixelante backlash via google).  For a corporate l33tsp34k version of what's happening, see this thinly disguised press release on Next Generation.

In summary, SWG was launched about two and a half years ago, based on a design by Raph Koster, author of the rather excellent more-than-just-games-design book A Theory Of Fun (currently in Korea pushing it, I think).  Koster is two remarkable things: a brilliant designer and amazingly patient in forums when answering his ill-informed critics.

It would be restrained of me to suggest that Koster's design was not fully implemented by launch.  Very little about the game was, with the exception of the graphics engine, which was gorgeous, and capable of moments of aesthetic delight (see a Theory of Fun on that one).  Launching before completion is pretty common in the MMO marketplace, and the results for SWG were not good.  The game could be fun, but more open than many were used to: people wanted to be told what to do, and there wasn't a lot of that there.  The game was very "worldy", but not so "gamey": perfect for someone like me, but coupled to broken skills, the content-lite nature of the game dented initial perceptions in the marketplace.  And, as is traditional, the servers crashed on day one.

First, a series of controversial "nerfs" - dramatic reduction in the abilities or strengths of players - generated huge ill-will.  Various classes got it in the neck in these updates, and it was never going to be a good thing that two of the most popular classes were prominent: Commandos and "Creature Handlers".  Then came a necessary-but-flawed, papering-over-the-cracks job with the "combat upgrade", which fixed a few things at the cost of alienating a good few players (how many will have to wait for Sir Bruce's long-awaited stats update).

But a few days ago, less than a week after billing a significant number of its user-base for an update to the game, Sony Online Entertainment went crazy-ballistic, and announced the game was being altered at the most fundamental level. In truth, SWG is being re-invented, losing the last of Koster's "worldy" design and becoming more "gamey" (as discussed by Tobold in "Digging a Hole With a Lightsaber").  Provocatively, it was clear that these changes had been underway for a long time; that they were clearly going to alienate a significant percentage of the games-playing population; and that they had been developed outside the concept-plans-development-test cycle that had been key to what passes for community-relations in the SWG world.  This has led to considerable fury from the player-base, many of whom feel that the changes were deliberately released after the cash-cow of the new expansion had been milked.

Of course, they're right: the timing was not a startling coincidence.  What else would a company in crisis do?  But that doesn't make it smart.

Anyway, next post I'll be talking about why I, long away from the game, am so interested in the story.  There are several reasons for this.  One is the classic "business in trouble" process which got SOE to where they are now: this really is a classic which follows all the steps: denial, concealment, admission, action...  The other is rather less aloof, and concerns the consequences for players of MMO's in general should this actually work out for SOE (unlikely, but not impossible).

Four years waiting, and you missed your chance?!?

I think it was in 2001 that I heard that a computer game was being made, set in the world of H.P.Lovecraft's New England horror novels and short stories.  Having been a big fan of the books and the RPG since I was knee-high to a short thing, I was excited, albeit a touch impatient at having to wait another year or so for release.  In general, the horror genre leaves me a bit cold (as do the bulk of works in the fantasy and sci-fi genres: I am a poor quality geek indeed at times), but Lovecraft really works for me, and I well remember reading the short story "The Rats in the Walls", alone one evening back in Kirkside (an isolated 20-something room manse, next door to a graveyard, built on a site that certainly dated back to the 1500's at least, and whose walls for many years were a night-time cacophony of scratching and scrabbling before the addition of two cats to the family).

Anyway, four years and an endless stream of delays, excuses, setbacks and reschedules later, and a month after the absolute final, this is it, we're not joking this time release date, it finally hits Gamestation, in the shape of "Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth".  The same week as Civilisation IV.  Now there is the dictionary definition of a missed window of opportunity.  Civilisation IV: the latest release in a decade-long love affair that has robbed me of time and sunlight, and which was responsible for missed deadlines and ignored exams.  Oh, Sid Meier, developer and designer responsible for Civ, and for F19 Stealth Fighter (free download here) come to that, how I curse your name.  In a good way.  What is worse, Civ IV seems to continue in the same tradition: awfully, wonderfully, nightmarishly good.  Silicon crack, as Timothy Burke calls it.

Anyway, Call of Cthulhu was not the only game to run into the double-thickness wall which is World of Warcraft and Civilisation IV.  I also had every intention of buying west-coast gangsta game Grand Theft Auto for my shiny and delightful PSP.  Even as I sit here having my lunch, Mark, Dennis and David are, erm, representin' and, urm, beatin' on each other in multiplayer mode across the office.  They be taxin' this stuff like it be rich.  Word.  But that purchase will have to wait a while, by which time they'll have moved on to the next game and I'll be left alone in the 'hood.

I have no idea why great game releases cluster so.  The other must-have gaming release of the year, the marvelous and gnostic time sink which is Football Manager 2006, is also out this month.  I dare not buy it yet: my only choice would be to abandon work and reclaim the remaining eight hours of the day.  For a game comprising virtually nothing but numbers on a screen - a moderately attractive Excel spreadsheet, really - it shares with Civilisation an alarming ability to lift me bodily from my seat at nine p.m., instantly depositing me, unmoved in space but mysteriously relocated to five in the morning.  Just one more turn...

How I hate the sound of birdsong when I go to bed.

Guess Who's Back?

I am now, officially, the sort of person who is back from two weeks' holiday.  I may write something in my lunch hour, or I may write some long-overdue emails then.  I may even do the menial stuff like arrange an MOT for my car and get my company accounts together: the stuff that I really should be doing.  Won't that be fun?