October 2005 - Posts

The Bankruptcy of Cultural Relativism

I am not much given to quoting militant feminist left-wing secularists, but when they talk convincingly about equality in terms of freedoms and rights, I am prepared to be impressed.  The excellent Nick Cohen's new blog provided me with just such an opportunity for delight..

Maryam Namazie, militant feminist left-wing secularist Iranian exile, writing after Canadian politicians decided that they should allow Sharia courts in their country, said this of the cultural relativism that inspired the move:

‘It promotes tolerance and respect for so-called minority opinions and beliefs, rather than respect for human beings. Human beings are worthy of the highest respect, but not all opinions and beliefs are worthy of respect and tolerance. There are some who believe in fascism, white supremacy, the inferiority of women. Must they be respected?’

Nick Cohen, discussing this, went on to say that

"Richard J Evans*, professor of modern history at Cambridge, pointed out in Defence of History that if you take the relativist position to its conclusion and believe there’s no such thing as truth and all cultures are equally valid, you have no weapons to fight the Holocaust denier or Ku Klux Klansmen."

The fracturing of the Left provoked by the need for a response to conflict between the liberal West and militant Islamism originally provided me with little more than a sense of Schadenfreude.  What an idiot I was.  In fact, it is very pleasant to be able to agree with people like Cristopher Hitchens and Nick Cohen.  It is a lot easier to feel comfortable alongside them than it is beside the increasingly virulent Tebbit, or the frankly bewildering George W. Bush.


* Richard Evans, the first book of whose continuing trilogy on the Third Reich I first picked up in an attempt to fathom the mystery that my friend Richie "The Flying Hippo" Evans - centre forward for a footie team I used to play in, fellow Morton fan, and rock'n'roll social worker - should be such a dark horse when it came to historiography.

"First Impressions"

Every now and then, I preface a post with something along the lines of "I don't normally use this as a 'what i did today', diary-type thing...", and then proceed to do exactly that.  This is just such a post.

I saw the new film version of Pride and Prejudice at the weekend.  When the other half reads this, it will come as a bit of a surprise to her, as she doesn't know that I did such a thing.  I have certain tastes that do not apply across the entirety of my household, and one of them is for film and TV versions of Miss Austen's works.  Another, not unrelated, is for romantic comedies: I have a remarkably high tolerance for films with John Cusack in them.  This tolerance is not universally shared.  So I watch such things in my own time, when our working and leisure hours do not coincide.

Anyway, I have read reviews of this latest version which express at best mixed opinions about it.  These usually involve unfavourable comparisons of Matthew MacFadyen with Colin Firth who, thanks to the diaries of Ms Jones, has become somewhat confused with the character of Mr Darcy in recent years.  In fact, I found MacFadyen an excellent Darcy.  Normally, Darcy is portrayed in such a way that it is perfectly obvious to the even the most obtuse observer that he is quite taken with Elizabeth, and with Firth, I got the impression at times that Darcy really was just a bit shy.  MacFadyen has Darcy's character come across as genuinely blunt and rude on occasion, and one can see that he really doesn't want to like someone from such an awful family.  The first hints at a weakening resolve are filmed with a wonderful lightness of touch - quite literally on one occasion - and one sees real expenditure of effort on his part

There are weaknesses: a few too many additions to the original text which seem to be added for purely comedic value.  While this worked - and was probably wholly necessary - in Jackson's reworkings of the Lord of the Rings, the idea that Pride and Prejudice needed some sort of an injection of humour is a little like Spielberg deciding that Schindler's List wouldn't be properly horrifying unless he added some extra, wholly fictional violence.

Also, if you are going to make Kiera Knightley a believable Elisabeth, then you need someone spectacular to play her distinctly prettier sister Jane.  Talulah Riley is undoubtedly very pretty, but a degree of suspension of disbelief is needed regarding why she is everybody's consistent first choice when she is competing with the sheer presence of Knightley.

Anyway, mock or scorn if you will, but I preferred this Pride and Prejudice not just to the 1995 mini-series, but also to the 1940 Olivier/Garson version.

Wise moves for the Ummah

Via Drink-Soaked Trotskyite Popinjays for War, a piece from the Saudi Religious Policeman (himself a moderate Moslem), suggesting some positive PR moves that the Ummah (community of the faithful) might consider:

1. A Council of Muslim scholars today produced the definitive "New Quran". Based on the original version, it omits all that Dark Age anachronistic stuff about stoning adultresses, beating wives, beheading Kuffars, amputations, lashing, lying to unbelievers and Jews, the so-called sin of Apostacy, and eternal Jihad, and instead concentrates on the good bits about worshipping God, loving all his creatures, respecting our fellow-men, and being charitable to one and all. It will henceforth be the definitive religious text for the Faith. The "Old Quran" will be retained merely for its historic and poetic interest.

2. The Supreme Council of Imams yesterday announced that, after a fourteen-century continuous war which it finally realized it would never win, a peace treaty has been finally concluded with the Kuffars, who would henceforth be known as "fellow-humans". All territorial claims to the rest of the world have been dropped, specifically including Bali, Southern Spain, and Israel. Any acts of war or terrorism by individuals or communities will be punished by excommunication, banishment, permanent prohibition from entry to the Two Holy Mosques, and denial of burial in Muslim graveyards.

3. The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has today declared itself open to all religions. All faiths will be permitted to worship openly without let or hindrance. As evidence of its serious intent, it is allocating space in Makkah and Madinah for the building of a Christian church, a Jewish synagogue, Hindu and Buddist temples.

4. A travelling exhibition, entitled "No More Lies", has this week started its round-the-world tour in New York. It disavows all the previous lies espoused by the Muslim Ummah, including the classic""Protocols of the Elders of Zion" is an authentic document" lie, the "4000 Jews got a phone call on 9/10 not to go to work tomorrow" lie, the "we don't know what nationality the hijackers were" lie, and the "Holocaust was a journalistic practical joke" lie.

5. Muslim charities today declared that henceforth, just like Western charities, they would help suffering people around the world, regardless of race or religion. They were able to demonstrate their sincerity by going to the assistance of people affected by a natural disaster in Latin America.

6. Imams throughout the world celebrated "World Faith Day" by preaching that Islam was only as good as, but no better, than all other world religions, and that all were equally valid ways of seeking personal salvation.

Supporting Scotland and Suffering

I was lucky enough, during the Scotland match, to be playing rugby (against Portobello, and winning 62-3, no less).  But I knew the result before I asked the barman in the clubhouse afterwards.

I was was not in the least astonished that we lost.  Nor was I even slightly suprised, beforehand, to see the joyous wave of confidence upon which we surfed into the game.  The Byelorussians were unworthy of consideration: they were as good as beaten.  We would do our part and then hope that the Norwegians slipped up somewhere along the line.  Past managers like Craig Brown were wheeled out to declare that momentum was with us, the opposition an average team at best who were in a state of disarray within their camp.

I remember 1978.  And '82 and '86 and '90 come to that.  And '98 and all the European cups in between.  I don't remember '74 but I'm pretty clear on what happened.  We choked.  We always do against anyone we should have a decent chance against.  Italy and Norway were surefire victories, due to low expectations.  But the second we played someone we thought we should beat, we were done for.

Anyway, I don't understand why we were so dismissive of the Byelorussians.  After all, their main strikers play for Sampdoria and a little outfit called Arsenal.  Our starting striker plays for Wolves.

As the biennial saying goes: it is no longer mathematically possible for us to qualify.

Stick that Warcraft spike into my vein

Last night, I installed World of Warcraft which - for those of you just back from an extended stay in Amish country - is a massively multiplayer online game (MMO), where thousands of players log in and interact with the environment and each other in a single gamespace.  Not counting weird-ass, Korean clamjamphries (which apparently count subscribers using some hideous non-decimal number systems hinted at in the Miskatonic University's copy of the Necronomicon of the mad Arab Abdul al-Hazred himself) the previous front-runner in this genre had about 400,000 users.  World of Warcraft has, apparently, just hit four million accounts over the first year or so.  This is partially due to its innovative gameplay, partly its immersive environment, but mainly because it is addictive like a one dollar mixed-bag of crack-cocaine, cigarettes and milk chocolate hob-nobs).

Those who read blogs by previous Warcraft inductees will know that the story arc has a certain fixed trajectory: I fall in love with the game, blog about little else, drive all but a tiny and hardy group of readers into exile, gradually grow dissillusioned and finally quit, having invested about the same amount of time in it that one would usually get a degree for in return.  Interestingly, G*ry's ceroc blog has reached somewhere around step three right now...

I would say that I'll try not to follow this pattern, but deep down, I know it is my destiny.  So the foregoing paragraph was provided, gentle reader, as a roadmap for our relationship.

Last night was a typical MMO install.  Four discs, half an hour, creation of an account, eager anticipation and... "a two hundred megabyte fricking patch to download?!?"  Start the download and play something else for an hour.  Then five levels of advancement in a couple of hours - the usual "get 'em hooked" quick return that Raph Koster and others mockingly give us glimpses of.  The missions are pleasant-looking and surprisingly enjoyable spins on the usual: kill six of these, gather ten of those, deliver x to y.  But they are well done, and in any case I am sure that by level fifteen the more comlpex missions will kick in: ones where you have to build a one-term lesson-plan suitable for introducing mixed-ability 14-years-olds to the magic of philosophy, or use what you have learned in-game to cast fireballs in the real world.  In any case, I was asleep by 2.30am, which is a pretty strong piece of self-control, in MMO terms.

All hail our new robot masters

Slashdot chose to link, today, to a story about robots designed to locate and display snipers.  All good stuff.

But, yet again, petty concerns about heavily adapted hoovering robots going shotgun crazy and executing droves of civilians are being allowed to stand in the way of progress towards the creation of our robot overlods, (to whom I wish pre-emptively to state my complete and unquestioning loyalty).

With this in mind, I condemn the pettifogging nit-picking of those such as inventor Glenn Thoren, who says that "it would be dangerous to have a weapon-toting robot that could open fire on its own."

Since he is the inventor, I look forward to hearing of his death in a bizarre lab incident, with police puzzled since nobody else entered or left his lab that evening, where he was working late on a robotic prototype for crushing metal into little bits which he had earlier stated his intention to turn off as a bad idea.

P.S. in my role as the most important thinker writing today in terms of possible returns, I predict that the sniper-detecting robot will soon have twin rocket launchers and under-mounted pulse lasers with which to dispose of sneaky insurgent snipers.  I also predict that the gravitational constant g will soon be 11 metres per second squared, and that Avagadro's number is about to double.  When it will be known as Harrison's number, of course.  As should have been the case all along.

iPod mistakes

The title "iPod Mistakes" is specifically tailored to lure in G*ry, the Apple enthusiast.  G*ry is, by the way, spelt with an asterisk to protect his identity from the millions of stalkers he fears: he rejects the use of real names on the web as one step removed from walking through Bradford with a big sign insulting Allah.

Anyway, following an email conversation with my cousin, tope five songs on my iPod that have no damn right to be there, except for my lack of taste.

  1. Rachel Stevens - Some Girls.  I maintain that this is a good song, but am aware that I stand alone on that one.  I have tried this though: if you play the first few bars of the intro to someone and tell them it's by Skinny Puppy, Marilyn Manson or Depeche Mode, they are totally persuaded.
  2. Marillion - Assassing.  Fish was not convincing when quoting Apocalypse Now, here.  But still I love it.  This could easily have been Market Square Heroes as well.
  3. Averil Lavigne - Complicated.  I am a total sucker for that whole thing.  I've even seen Good Charlotte and Sum 41 in concert.
  4. ELO - Telephone Line.  I could have stuck any number of almost-prog-rock, AOR tracks in here.
  5. Bronski Beat - Hit That Perfect Beat.  Yeah, you should try being the 13-year-old in Huntly who owns the "Age of Consent" album.

There should also be mentioned: Adam and the Ants - Ant Rap (Eminem is the exception that proves the rule.  White men should not rap (this goes double for white women).  I will stand up for much of their work as glorious punk-tinged pop.  But not this one); Allan Ginsberg - Ballad of the Skeletons (you know, if I didn't know better, I'd think he'd done a ton of drugs); Jill Sobule - I Kissed A Girl (I don't even like its jangly-ness.  But it's about girls kissing, so hey...).

I am the most important thinker writing today

It's true.  I am the most important thinker writing today.

Tyler Cowen, writing about Ray Kurzweil, said that he is the most important thinker today in expected value terms, when he writes about his expectation that nanotech, genetics and robotics will, within the next century, lead to us becoming advanced cyborgs, our brains being capable of upload into a computer's memory, etc etc.  He doesn't think that Kurzweil's predictions will happen, but says that they are so potentially important that his writing must be known of by everyone.

Well, that may have been enough to make you the "most important thinker today" on September 21, 2005, but times have changed in the world of Important Thinking, and I am prepared to move the debate on.  Prepare yourself for a step-change.  A quantum leap.  A paradigmatic shift.

I am prepared to endorse the entire set of Kurweil's predictions.  We will, indeed, become cyborg simulacrums with superpowers and Neuromancer-thingies.  And, what is more, we will all have space monkeys for companions.  Ninja space-monkeys.

Top that, nano-boy.

Blue vs Red

When I was a child, I posted comments as a child, I flamed as a child, I trolled as a child.  But in the last few years I have largely avoided posting in public forums.  I keep my controversies and my participation separate.  I subscribe - and post - to the odd mailing list, each of them studiously apolitical.  On the other hand I read some explicitly political blogs, but avoid posting there.  This is not because of a lack of political opinion on my part.  But rather, I no longer take any joy in the flamewars that used to give me such pleasure.

Partly, this is because almost 20 years of use of bulletin boards and the web has left me jaded.  It sometimes seems that everybody comes to the web to be heard, and very few to converse.  I am aware that the listeners, the passive, the quietly persuaded do not, by their nature, post.  But if one never knows that they are there, then they might as well simply not be in this context.  If you don't know someone exists, then struggling for their good opinions is an unrewarding joust.

Another problem is that, with time, one begins to remind oneself that these are people, not AIs populating a large, textual gameworld for your pleasure.  At that point, it becomes less joyful to expose their ignorance, simply to score a point.

A third reason is that the internet is no longer the preserve of geeks and academics that once it was.  I'm not complaining: I can do and discover things through the web today that were undreamt-of back in the early 90's.  But when AOL opened up web access to its account holders back in 94 or so, the nature of one's correspondents changed profoundly.  I will be elitist and say that as the barriers to entry fell, so did the average IQ.  As the Allies discovered in 1944, there is nothing more hideously pointless than winning when the other person doesn't know they're beaten.

But the final reason for my relative silence in political forums is the most recent: the vitriol of the American political struggle spills over into every single one.  Every discussion of left vs right becomes translated into "liberal vs conservative" or "democrat vs republican" or, most recently "anti-Bush vs pro-Bush".  Here, there is no discussion.  No dialogue.  Just a hideous dialectic with thesis and antithesis but no synthesis.  I am socially liberal, economically conservative, and legally and philosophically soft-libertarian.  That is not a viable set of opinions to hold these days: one ends up shouted at by all sides.

One thing I have loved about the internet is that it has allowed me greater contact with America.  I am an unashamed Americophile.  I go there for pleasure, and I enjoy areas of American life and existence that even Americans don't appreciate.  Anyone can like Memphis or New Orleans or Chicago, but I loved Duluth and Gary, Indiana.  I have drunk in bars from the deepest south to the furthest north of the mainland, been relaxed and found good company in each.  I see no moral difference between the anti-Americanism of the European left and the historic anti-semitism of the European right, and I am equally provoked by both.

But the Americans are so deeply at war with each other right now that their struggles infect every area they touch.  One of the most liberal democracies in the world has, for almost 16 years now, seen attempts at judicial revolution from both sides in order to reject the outcome of each election, through courts or through congress.  And until they learn to talk to each other again, public comment on matters political will continue to be a case of exposing oneself to crossfire.